Move On
by AlternativeRocker
Summary: He should build a new life but he doesn't know if he can do that. March Jello Forever Challenge entry, Prompt: Standing on the Outside


**Author's Note: Hello again, can you believe I haven't wrote a Mentalist fic in 6 months?!! Doesn't seem that long ago. Anyway I'm back with my first attempt at a Jello Forever Challenge. March's prompt: Standing on the Outside. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own this show or it's characters. Only the DVD of Season 1 that's on it's way.**

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**Move On**

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Jane looked over at the people who worked with him. The only people he truly trusted in this world, now. They all looked so happy together, he didn't want to spoil things with his uncertainty and fear. It wouldn't have been like this if he hadn't worked on this case that they had just closed.

It wasn't even a Red John related one but it had links to Jane; one of the witnesses to this murder had been his wife's best friend when she had been alive. Jane hadn't kept in touch with any of their old friends because it was too painful to compare their happy lives to his ruined one so this had been the first he had saw Cassie since the funeral.

They had arrested the murderer this morning thanks to Jane's skills. When they were back in the CBI Headquarters Jane had got a call from reception to say someone was there to speak to him. When he arrived down at the front desk Jane noticed Cassie standing with her back to him.

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_"Cassie?" She turned around and smiled at him._

__

"Patrick, I just wanted to personally say goodbye. I know you've found it difficult being near me because of, well, you know, but I hope we can see each other again in the future."

_"Maybe," he said, not quite able to look her in the eye becuase he didn't want to raise her hopes. He didn't think that he would be able to enjoy the company of anyone or anything from his past ever again. Cassie noticed this and although she was a little annoyed at his unwillingness to communicate truthfully with her, she did understand though, so she changed the subject to what she had intended to say at the beginning._

"_That Lisbon seems nice."_

"_Yes she is, your point being?"_

"_Patrick, I don't mean to pry but have you been with any other women since she died?" Cassie knew that saying her name aloud would make Jane hide away in himself so took care not to do anything which may provoke his defences to go up._

"_No. I don't think I can until we find him."_

"_What if you never find him?"_

"_Well then I won't sleep with anyone until I die! What does this have to do with Lisbon?"_

"_Patrick, she would want you to move on with your life; meeting someone new; try and love someone else; build a new family."_

"_Cassie-"_

"_You're going to say that you can't, but I know you, you're strong enough to do this."_

"_Back to the original question," wanting to move away from this painful topic of conversation, "What about Lisbon?!"_

"_Well, the way you look at her reminds me of the early days of when you and Heather were beginning to feel deeply for each other. And she looks at you the same way, even when you make her angry or tired there's still that glint in her eye."_

_*******_

That was when she had turned away and left Jane standing with a stunned look on his face. He didn't know what to make of it so walked slowly back into the building to see the four agents with a couple of pizza boxes lying open in front of them in the bullpen, a few slices had been left for when Jane decided to join them.

He gently smiled as he watched Rigsby and Van Pelt secretly looked at the other when they thought no-one else could see. Cho was listening to the conversation while reading the novel he had begun this time yesterday. And Lisbon, well she was looking just as she normally did to him: perfect. This was the first time he admitted it to himself. He wouldn't go as far as Cassie had and said he was falling in love with her but he certainly was close to it. This shouldn't be happening. He was supposed to be focussing on getting Red John and giving him what he deserved but he was starting to get distracted by Teresa Lisbon.

He looked over at her again, thinking about how beautiful she looked with her hair down and laughing at something one of the others had just said. She didn't need him. She would never need him. But he needed her, now more than ever. He had no idea what to do, he knew if he found Red John and killed him Lisbon would never forgive him but if he let him go then he would never forgive himself.

What was more important; Lisbon or becoming a killer? He knew that he had been wanting to murder Red John in the most painful way possible for six years but putting it in this context made it harder to believe. Lisbon had saved him from himself, she had done everything in her power to help him and he had thrown it back in her face. She didn't deserve this, if anything she deserved a hug, a thank you, just shown some gratitude but instead he decided to keep getting her into trouble from her boss for what acts he did.

He sighed and went over to his couch, ignoring the team's shouts to get over beside them. He closed his eyes and dreamed of a world where everything was simpler. During these times he would imagine a place with his wife and daughter but today it was one in which Lisbon was his lover. He was shocked that this could happen but he didn't open his eyes, he was fine pretending this kind of thing was possible; that there was a chance that Lisbon could care for him just as much as he did for her.

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Lisbon looked over at the blond-haired man on the couch, wondering what he was grinning at. Even though she didn't know what was going on she couldn't help but smile herself. It was safer to watch him when he had his eyes tightly shut like this or he might see how much she did need him. He was the one constant in her life, excluding the rest of the people in this room. She hated that the most infuriating person that she had ever met meant so much to her but he did. And she didn't think he would ever know this. He had too much on his mind, Red John would end up coming between them unless he made the improbable choice of attempting to move on.

**The End.**


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